Treadmill Dance

It’s almost Friday and this is how I feel in the gym on days like today!

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Ok, so just in case you live under a rock here is a little recap of Krewella at Ultra Music Festival 2013.  If this does not make you want to go to Ultra next year, nothing will.

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Macklemore posted this video two days ago and it already has over 2 million hits.  I think blowing up is an understatement.  Keep it up homie!

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So it’s almost the weekend and you’re ready to go out, go hard and take home a hot chick. The problem? You’ve struck out the past few weekends when the girl you were chatting up all night rolled out with her friends or worse, when the girl you took home ended up being a total psycho. This time you just wanna hit it with a hot girl, maybe hit it again and then quit it, but how do you make sure you’re not spending your money in vain or are two words away from getting your car window smashed in? While women are strange creatures that can’t always be read, there are some definite signs you can use to guarantee that you have this one in the bag.

Look for the independent girl who is buying her own drinks. This girl isn’t looking for hand outs or conning guys into buying her attention, which means: she’s less likely to be an asshole, be clingy or be crazy. Stand back and don’t offer her a drink right away. Talk to her, pique her interest and then offer. She might not take you up on it, but that’s not a bad sign. Listen for other clues to determine or independent/cool factor like: does she like her job, does she live on her own etc.

Make an effort to find and talk to an intelligent girl. Run if she can’t carry on a conversation, doesn’t understand your jokes, or simply relies on her looks for everything. This girl is dead weight all across the board. She’ll probably go home with you, but she’s going to lay there like a board and then wake you up at some ungodly hour so she can go let out her chihuahua.

When you spot a group of girls and hone in on one, go talk to her and then walk away. See what she does. You’re on the right path if she separates herself from her friends and comes and talks to you. Once will not necessarily mean you’ve got it in the bag, but you’ve got it if she consistently comes over or leaves them entirely. You’re wasting your time if you’re doing all of the leg work.

Watch how she drinks. Is she drinking slowly and claiming she has to drive? Move on. Is she pounding back shots and chasing them with a vodka/redbull? Forget about it. This girl will go home with you, but will spend most of the night vomiting in your toilet and look like and smell like hell in the morning. Find the girl who is consciously keeping pace with your drinking.

If you’ve captured the attention of a hottie, pay attention to her verbal cues. Has she mentioned your place a few times, like “Oh ya, I should come and check that out,” “You have that? I’d love to see it,” or better yet, “Yeah. I should totally come and see that sex swing you got from the Adam and Eve adult store.” However, that last one is a lot less likely happen. Little mentions here and there about coming over to see something at your house can be a good sign that she wants to go home with you.

Finally, watch how she plays the game with you. We all hate, yet love, the chase. Is she acting coy at times, but responding to you at the same time? You’re in luck if shes playing along. She’s not going home with you if she’s acting completely aloof.

These signs are a good starting off point. However, it ultimately comes down your ability to close the deal. Get her to leave the bar with you prior to closing. Waiting to the last minute is a sure fire way to get turned down. Also be on the lookout for these kind of situations:

Avoid any girl who is out by herself on a Friday or Saturday night.

Ditch a girl who keeps running into bar patrons that she knows. That means she goes out A LOT.

Forget about sleeping with her if she’s consistently looking for your reassurance. She’ll be a major clinger.

Run if she brings up kids at any point in time–she says she likes them, she wants to have them, etc. She’s not looking for a one night stand.

Finally, steer clear of the bar butterfly, you know, the girl who is scamming every guy for a drink. She’s not going home with you, she’s going home to her boyfriend. She just wants part of your paycheck.

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I have seen ice balls at a few high-end restaurants and bars and it is likely that you will be seeing more and more of them because of the Cirrus Ice Ball Press, or something like it.  It is expensive to own as an individual but not so bad for a bar, considering having the ability serve drinks “on the rocks” the newest and hip way .  It is priced at about $800 with a few different package options.  Bourbon “on the moon” anyone?

Find out more at cirrusproducts.com 

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Gotta love the colors here, Ultra hangover anyone?  I’m sure everyone still is in some form or fashion.   Chin up, at least the weekend is here.  Happy Friday everybody!

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Lil Wayne’s new CD “I Am Not a Human Being” proves that he has been hard at work, not just skateboarding.  Having been a Wayne fan forever, I bought the CD after hearing a few of the songs and I don’t regret it at all.  Old Wayne is back with some dark beats and explicit lyrics.  Needless to say you will not want to listen to this with your mom but you perfect for the gym.

Check out the whole album on iTunes  - IANAHB (Deluxe Version) 

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Here is to wishing we were down in Miami crushing it in the Florida heat at Ultra Music Festival.  You better believe I will be there in spirit.  Ultra Music Festival 2013! Here is to a Miami drink on deck.

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Yup, Wednesday is already here my friends, and you know what that means…hump day!  What better way to get over the hump than to check out some of the most beautiful humps from the most beautiful ladies the internet machine has to offer. (goes without saying we have the best here at thebroline) Enjoy the day and the view!

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Leryn Franco is the most beautiful woman who you don’t want to mess with.  She is a Paraguayan model…and a professional javelin thrower.  The fact that she placed 34th in the Olympics last year should not make you feel any more comfortable about upsetting her.  But if you do somehow end up on her shit-list, which for the record would be quite a feat in itself, I’d advise running away in a zig-zag pattern…

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